Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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