She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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