people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
