How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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