matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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