When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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