Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
