yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
