My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I color on your dick again?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
