You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
