Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
