Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
