he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize
