it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
