sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
