I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
