I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've blown a few things in my day
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
