Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
