he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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