Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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