I'm drive I can fine osifer
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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