I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Boobs speak an international language.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
