Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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