So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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