Midget sex pt 2 tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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