Kiss
Puke
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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