i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
