somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
