so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
