I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
