Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
