only if we run a train.
done.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
