he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So much rum. So many feels.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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