Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
