is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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