worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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