dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
