didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
