So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
