i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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