Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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