Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
