were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
