If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
