WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My pussy is not your playground.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
