It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
