Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
