THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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