is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
