apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
