She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
