mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
