are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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