Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
