4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
