TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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