Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
