I'm really into asian looking animals
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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