I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
