she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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