we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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