The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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