So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this beer tastes like vomit already
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
